Life spins on a dime…

18 July 2006

And the first, and hopefully not the last, of my mini treatises.

The title of the post is misleading. I’m not talking about how life can suddenly change. I want to talk about how life seems so dependent on money. For me the curiousity arises from the fact that money is not a necessity, but we pursue it as if it were. We all know we can do without so much, but we go to significant lengths to obtain that which we can do without.

I am not without fault here either. We all look for the easy things in life, and possession or time and effort saving devices does make life easier. More than just that, we all want easy but exciting lives, and so we seek things to save us effort and things to entertain. And  I’m not that much differnt. But what is wrong with that? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with that. But it feels wrong when we substitute these things, or sacrifice more meaningful things in order to achieve them. It feels wrong to be at work conducting business research and analysis when you could be contributing and building upon the development of society. What I’m doing is taking information already existent, rehashing it and reconstituting it into a predefined format (I’m a head hunter by the way).

I know I’m not the only one who sees it this way. Am I too much of an idealist, restrained by the confinement of reality, a reality which I obviously live by, by the direction of my head? Urgh!

There are very few jobs that I think are worth doing, and those are the jobs that tend to be more a way of life than anything, you know like doctors, soldiers, civil servants (but not politicians), the judiciary (but not lawyers), law enforcement, research scientists etc etc. All of these and all the jobs I deem worthy, fall into two categories. They either build upon a society, or the stop society from breaking down. For me, a middle man, like an Insurance Broker or a Head Hunter does neither of those things. If we disappeared tomorrow, the world would still continue unmolested and developmental virtue in tact.

And so, you might ask, why am I doing something which I feel should not be done? Well I ask myself that question many a time. I usually come up with an answer like “oh well it’s the system and I need to work to eat” etc etc, but the honest answer is I’m too lazy and too scared to try and change things.

I have an idea of being a politician one day, and trying to change the “system” but even that will only remain a pipe dream if I don’t move my arse and study and experience things. I studied Philosophy and Theology at Oxford University, but that has not set me up with the knowledge that I need to change things. Instead that has made me musey and appreciative of all angles. Which invariably, in my case, has made me passive. I have spent so long examining others around me and others’ ideas that I have let myself wither and decay inside. But no more. There is always time to get back that twinge of life.

I’m suddenly reminded of American Beauty, the film with Kevin Spacey in, where he says something like that in his opening monologue. Well if I brighten up my life somewhat like him, then maybe, just maybe, it will be worth it. For I know I love life. I want to feel it.


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