Memory of a Goldfish… Intelligence of a Louse

18 July 2006


Why should we care so much about certain things or certain people? Are we bothered to say or do things because we are intrinsically selfish and saying or doing something makes us feel better about ourselves? Or can we truly care altruistically?

A friend of mine always tells me that we’ll do something nice, more than just meet up, have a meal or have something to drink, whenever I want to and she’s not too busy, but yet when I say let’s do X she then doesn’t want to. In this case, the theatre after a nice relaxing day having drinks and lounging about. Apparently, by the evening, after just relaxing all day, she’ll be tired and sweaty and wouldn’t want to go to the theatre. Okay fine. But this isn’t the first time we’ve gone through this, but I do want to try and make it the last.

I really feel like not caring anymore. I do ask myself, why should I bother. It seems like she really doesn’t want to do anything nice with me, so I should just leave it and let it die. Right? Whether it’s just going out, watch a video, go play pool, go to the cinema, the theatre, a concert. It doesn’t matter. We have never gone to do any of those things, let alone other things, in over 2 years of friendship. And it is not for lack of me suggesting and trying.

Am I really that stupid that I should keep on trying? Is it my memory or my intelligence that fails me?

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