Someone to lean on…

10 August 2006


I can be quite crazy at times. In many ways I think being crazy is a release from my dogmatic belief that I should be straightforward and ordered at all times. And I am liked for the fact that I am dependable, strong and ordered, coherent, sensible and rational, steadfast, firm and selfless. But I do feel at times that that is not the real me. I feel the real me is more wild, more carefree (or should that be careless?), more nutz!  I don’t think this is something that I can sort out overnight. Indeed I often think what the hell am I talking about “the real me”? I mean surely I am who I am whether I know it or not, and I am not just one thing that can be stereotyped. 

But what I do know for sure is that there are people who love me and accept me as I am, strong or weak, mature or immature, happy or unhappy. One person in particular is very influential in that regard, and I rely on her a lot, but I rely too much on her, when I have no right to do so. I love you and I always want to see the best happen for you. Please don’t ever doubt that. And even when I do things you may not understand, I do it with the best intentions and because I feel it is best for you. Love you lots.

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