Grassy Moon…

16 August 2011

Oh grassy moon,

Why do thou sometimes stay for more than just a night?

To stay, a boon

For haunting shadows valour seeks to put to flight.

Your ill met tune,

Upon a wanting righteous face does only blight.

Causing my hewn

And heavy heart such disaccord I wish to fight.

Cease to balloon,

Your influence, which only down dark paths invite.

Halt to impugn

My fervent wish to stop at only doing right.

To be immune

From your unpleasant curse is my intended height.

Begone ye soon!

Rise up, oh worthy sun, chase this vile moon from sight!

~ Submitted to Open Link Night 5 at dVerse Poets


26 Responses to “Grassy Moon…”

  1. TheMsLvh said

    The Moon does bring forth strong emotions. Very cool poem.

  2. Emily said

    I love the imagery, the moon, this grassy green monster pushing your jealousy ever on and your struggle to fight it and not go down dark paths. Loved the structure too. Great poem!

    • Pervagus said

      Thanks Emily. I don’t normally consider myself to be a jealous person, but I feel like I have lost today’s battle against the green. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  3. brian said

    very nice form in this…gives it a nice cadence…and yes, sun come soon…

    • Pervagus said

      Thank you for reading Brian. So good to come across dVerse, through MsLvh. It’s been so good to read more people’s work in such a convenient way. I’ll be back for more 🙂

  4. Well done, emotions are good; embrace them, experience them, and then forget them.

  5. tashtoo said

    Ah…that green eyed beast, own it and write about it till it’s worn down and forgotten. You can be better than it wants you to be, the fact you’ve turned it to muse and penned this awesome write is proof of that. Much enjoyed!

    • Pervagus said

      Thank you for reading and your lovely comment. It was nice coming across your blog via dVerse, and I’m enjoying it lots. Still have to read more of your beautiful poetry.

  6. hedgewitch said

    Great imagery in the title, with a strong sense of structure.

  7. Claudia said

    i like the structure of your poem..wondering if it is a specific a very nice flow

  8. Pervagus said

    It probably is a specific form, though I didn’t pick it up from another poem and I don’t have a name for it. Don’t want to claim it as I’m sure it’s been done before. Glad you liked the flow, and thanks for reading and commenting Claudia 🙂

  9. Brilliant!

    Wonderful how you put the rhymes in like that.

    I think my poem would be the opposite, as I prefer the moon to the sun — well it’s Texas summer and HOT, if you know what I mean. Night is my respite from that sassy old sun. 🙂

    • Pervagus said

      Thank you for reading and your brilliant comment 🙂

      I know the Texan sun you speak of, and if I were there I too would relish the cool sanity soothing moon. Stay moonlit!

  10. I love the rythmn of this poem

    I felt moon controlled waves

    washing over the whole piece.

    A very nice write

  11. Carys said

    Despite the archaic language, which doesn’t normally do it for me, I found myself liking this. I think it was the rhythm and cadence provided by the form which I haven’t seen before. Nice write.

    • Pervagus said

      I don’t normally go for archaic language either, as it normally sounds too laboured. In all honesty I adopted it for more rhymes of “moon”, but after a few re-writes it didn’t sound so bad. Thanks for reading and your lovely comment Carys

  12. Kavita said

    Aaahh… I see someone not impressed by the ways and effects of the moon, eh.. 🙂 Oh yes, she does have some odd manners, alright..

    Loved the rhymes and the structure! Superbly done!

    • Pervagus said

      Thank you Kavita 🙂 I love the moon and am very much taken by her odd yet impressive sides. Just hate the sometimes green influence, staring back in silent encouragement of my ill felt emotions.

  13. Heaven said

    I like the cadence and rhyme to this poem… she is one bewitching lady.

    Nice to meet you ~

    • Pervagus said

      Thank you for your kind comment. That she is. Far more so than the Sun (simply because she’s always around in the UK unlike her day counterpart). Nice to read your blog too. You’ve got lovely work there 🙂

  14. precise and creative..

    keep it up.

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