“Unappreciative bitch” that’s all I didn’t say
I hate that I love you so much though you treat me this way
Instead of a kind word to speak all you can do is moan
After all this time you know I should have fucking grown

Sometimes I wished that I would die, just so that you might see
The kind of life that you would have, without support from me
But saddest thing I feel right now that drives me to despair
You wouldn’t really notice, for you don’t really care

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How lovely and how sad.
I question myself nonetheless.
Why is it not so bad
To not be honest in my mess?

For I talk in deceit.
She knows not how I truly feel,
That I want to complete
My love for her with hardened steel.

By taking the next move
And physic’ly connect in sex.
I know she’d disapprove.
My question is what to do next?

Will I a single be?
Forever locked to this one just.
Rejecting willingly
Some other love, some other lust.

I guess I must be mad
But I just want this thought to die
That there’s more to be had
In love between my friend and I

I know what I must do.
Divorce the best platonic wife.
And find somebody new
To dedicate and share my life.

Shit!

Of Her (Part I)

10 August 2011

The first thing you should know of her is she is my best friend.
For everyday for eight great years, we’ve talked and shared no end.
Yes lit’rally we talk each day, no matter where we are.
When we’re in the same city, or flung to countries far.

Whatever time of day or night, whatever we’re up to.
We talk in bed (although not shared) and even on the loo.
We do talk shit and high brow things. We laugh like no tomorrow.
Of course we cry and argue lots snd share our times of sorrow.

She lives one mile away from me. I see my friend a lot.
And since we met eight years ago. I really lost the plot.
Yes I did fall in love with her. Was forced though to fall out.
She was in love with her partner, and mostly was devout.

Admittedly she does look good, but that’s not why I fell.
Her beauty comes from deep inside. It charms me like a spell.
She gave me more than anyone had ever done before.
She widened my experience. She opened me life’s door.

With her I’ve had such awful lows, but more fantastic highs.
To the extreme we sometimes go, always filled with surprise.
For though I’d say in honesty she has been my soul mate,
Platonic we will always be, I curse each day my fate.

I fell about six years ago, to climb out took some pain.
And then we set up a business, so “partners” we became.
We then worked hard, and our “…ship” changed, somewhat detracting me
From feeling good of love and her, in writing poetry.

But guess what happened March this year, she broke up with her guy.
After eight years being with him and so I’m left awry.
But nothing’s gonna happen. The window’s firmly closed.
She loves me lots, but not that way. We’ll remain juxtaposed.

Your Place…

8 August 2011

As favours for friends go, there’s reward in it
That while you’re abroad, I come and house sit
Your home is so comely, exactly like you
It’s great to see some things from your place of view
Wanting to be with you, though you’re not home
Lying in your bed, and feeling alone
Except for your cat who’s a love and a bother
Thinking of you in the arms of another
Shaking the feeling for I must know better
Stop wishing we could make a home together

Privileged…

7 August 2011

A friend is a friend, whatever that means…
For today that can be much more than it seems…
Platonic or privileged with a little luck…
A person to laugh with, cry with and/or fuck!

A Night Out…

6 August 2011

Your amber glow paints so serene a shade,

Melting all colours and differences,

Of those who know you, yet not each other.

A great leveller, a night out with you.

Full of life still, constantly moving.

The cars. The buses. The people.

And emergencies seem more urgent

When you can actually hear the sirens.

You like him…

7 June 2011

My dearest crazyta, for you I’m so glad.
I wish you the best time that you’ve ever had.
You like him… well fuck him! I’ll hate him anyway.
There’s no better method to the start of your day!

Enjoy!

Where…

3 June 2011

It’s often hard to see the wood for trees
Don’t know if I will ever know with any ease.
Confusion, conflicts, is it pain or not?
Why do I not appreciate the things that I have got?
Why must I think of more?
I’m what I would deplore
 
Externally content and inside numb
Portraying happiness though feeling glum
But is it actually to do with you?
Or is it me, unsatisfied with what I do?
I guess both is true
But what should I do?
 
Impatience though I thought was not in me
Has gripped me tight and points me somewhat desp’rately
I want to be where I think in a year
I’ll be a better man, where happiness adheres
So will I get where
Should you be there?

Happy Poet’s Block

20 March 2011

I find it strange that when it comes to write of happiness
I lack the words, the intellect to create and express

I’m happy and I’d like to say how good it makes me feel
But I find I’m uninspired. I cannot make words real

I cannot form the sentences, build cadence or make rhyme
No matter my environment, no matter how much time

Of love and longing I can write, as well of times so sad
But happy poems I can’t pen. Just why am I so bad?

Unable to translate emotions into words
This writer only generates such brown poetic turds

It’s poignant and indicative, my happy poems suck
My life so far, had little joy, and so I find I’m stuck

But all in all I want to say how happy I am now
It’s down to you, my one true friend, step front and take a bow

Again my life is changing, refreshing for the new
I want to say I’m happy now. I owe it most to you.

Not you…

6 June 2007

Everytime I see into your beautiful eyes,

It fills me with surprise, and my inside cries

Just thinking of what could be have been ours,

A night so bright, so full of stars.

And then you look at me and smile.

Just take my hand and stay with me a while.