To Know…

18 December 2011

I do not know what I was thinking
what better it would bring
to see you want somebody
to see you all over him

In a room with little light
shadows break your forms
and gently try to proof my eyes
from rounds of earthly visions
that would go through and through

But my body feels the entries
and my body feels the exits
and though I cannot see
and though you cannot look
a gape is there
and here
and there
and here and there
and where I cannot show

I do not know when I will wake
the feeling dull and fade
the music play
and I will hear
the last echo
the last beat

I do not know why
I should feel this way
But I know all this will end
One day

Boxes…

3 December 2011

I should have slept four hours ago
after you told me you were staying out

If I had gone to sleep I still would have a packet
but now there is nothing but an empty box

Twenty little plasters turned to smoke and ash
but they did their job until there was an empty box

I felt the nicotine racing through my veins
but it didn’t comfort an addled empty box

A shroud of twenty clouds taunt in wispy dance
obscuring and choking in a walled empty box

In an instant there was red but then it drained away
and there was nothing left flowing in a naked empty box

4am and you’re home now with ‘company for a little…
The staking of the final nail for a six foot empty box

Are You?

5 June 2011

Standing in my fridge so bright and gleaming
Offering me comfort as I’m screaming
So do I take your invite in the end?
Oh Vodka Bottle are you my only friend?

Where…

3 June 2011

It’s often hard to see the wood for trees
Don’t know if I will ever know with any ease.
Confusion, conflicts, is it pain or not?
Why do I not appreciate the things that I have got?
Why must I think of more?
I’m what I would deplore
 
Externally content and inside numb
Portraying happiness though feeling glum
But is it actually to do with you?
Or is it me, unsatisfied with what I do?
I guess both is true
But what should I do?
 
Impatience though I thought was not in me
Has gripped me tight and points me somewhat desp’rately
I want to be where I think in a year
I’ll be a better man, where happiness adheres
So will I get where
Should you be there?

The Maze

19 May 2007

Lying staring at the blackness of my cold and unlit cell

Waiting to receive the wanted respite of a sleep filled spell

Thoughts a come of you and thinking where from here we go

A mind refined and answers filled yet cannot come to know

Like no savant of future views sees clear and set as straight

It pains to know how ends the play but still one has to wait

And so I lie in restlessness I ponder and I think

Just how our lives are so far yet inextricably linked