Last night…

18 April 2015

I broke the soundless night; in bed, I cried
My searing flow of tears would not subside
Despondent I could ever feel so low
And think this pain the worst there was to know

Though maybe unrequited love and I
Are truly intimate, and we have grown
Together in the dark watching me cry
Together in the dark I’m not alone

But surely that’s a madness in my head
For achingly I am alone in bed
As my love comforts other men I weep
Embarrassed that I let myself lose sleep

So with a shameful sadness and hurt pride
I broke the soundless night; in bed, I cried

Advertisements

Release…

23 December 2012

Consigning broken heart to bottom shelf
And purely concentrating on the self
With expert hand I’ll ease the pain
Forgetting love or tell tale stain

Imagined…

23 December 2012

Your eyes speak of a love unbound
That oft used words cannot convey
In looks that resonate sweet sound
Enhancing far what we could say
The fragrance of a swept desire
Compels the chest to breathe in deep
To taste the tremors of pure fire
And fan the flames of dream filled sleep
But of all things that I miss much
When thoughts of you bring soothing calms
Is feeling your true tender touch
To be enraptured in your arms
As words shed each imagined guise
And all you speak is in your eyes

Gehenna Calls…

17 December 2012

My thoughts for you sail over ocean blue
From English shores to US islands long
Emotions running wild but deep and true
How can desire ever be so wrong?
For what I see steals sight from awe filled eyes
Yet what I long to touch instils a fear
So surely what we’ve built is built on lies
There is nowhere we can go on from here
For you are his, and you cannot be mine
No matter if we feel a love so deep
As heaven slips and truth makes me resign
I sound recall into a dreamless sleep
For we both know how this forged tale will end
Gehenna calls and I will soon descend

False Step…

15 August 2012

Oh fate, in false step, too unkind
Between the void and majesty
String up the soul and rob the mind
Of every thought except of she
To laughing gods my will resigned
A curse, cruel fate, for what must be

Lost Value…

15 February 2012

You will never see
A side of me with value
Because of you
In writing so many lines
I am lost

Steady Boys. Steady…

8 February 2012

The chamber was full and ready to fire
Out like cannon shot burst after burst
Into the warm and hostile depths
Each a spark shooting into the dark
We could not miss
Though some of us did
For those poor bastards
Such a sticky end
Rubbed out in the light of day
But most of us made it
Into the murky lair
Where we were bred to be

Our legions died inside
The innocuous cavern
Of debilitating malice
Stuck in the quagmire
Trapped in the folding maze
Half by not choosing right
Most too weak to go on

And those who made it to the end alive
Still died anyway
There we were
The few who crossed the oceans
With death floating all around
Knock knock knocking
Push push pushing
For life
Yet we all still died
One by one
Except that one
Lucky bastard!

To Know…

18 December 2011

I do not know what I was thinking
what better it would bring
to see you want somebody
to see you all over him

In a room with little light
shadows break your forms
and gently try to proof my eyes
from rounds of earthly visions
that would go through and through

But my body feels the entries
and my body feels the exits
and though I cannot see
and though you cannot look
a gape is there
and here
and there
and here and there
and where I cannot show

I do not know when I will wake
the feeling dull and fade
the music play
and I will hear
the last echo
the last beat

I do not know why
I should feel this way
But I know all this will end
One day

I don’t care what you say
It doesn’t really matter anymore
Your arms are not there to comfort me
I only deceive myself

How do you give it?
Though I feel it keenly in my chest
I’ve never really seen it
I’ve heard it a bit better
But you’ve hardly touched me
You cannot show me

What makes me so special
That your acts become nothing with me
To be for you in thought
To warm you with words
On those cold lonely nights

For me anyway

For you don’t feel the cold
You thank me as I stand in the doorway
Excluding

And what about me
I don’t want to feel the cold

But it doesn’t really matter what you say anymore

Boxes…

3 December 2011

I should have slept four hours ago
after you told me you were staying out

If I had gone to sleep I still would have a packet
but now there is nothing but an empty box

Twenty little plasters turned to smoke and ash
but they did their job until there was an empty box

I felt the nicotine racing through my veins
but it didn’t comfort an addled empty box

A shroud of twenty clouds taunt in wispy dance
obscuring and choking in a walled empty box

In an instant there was red but then it drained away
and there was nothing left flowing in a naked empty box

4am and you’re home now with ‘company for a little…
The staking of the final nail for a six foot empty box